Here is an update in pictures of what we have been up to.

Hiking

Apple picking

Enzo went to his first concert. Justin Roberts.

Pumpkin carving

Happy Halloween!

Working Girl

I have been a bad blogger. My life went from what I thought was crazy to absolute insanity. I took on a 2 month contract job that I am doing from home 20 hours a week while still having my youngest kid home with me. Within the first three days I had regrets. Many old feelings of stress and anxiety came back to me (it was a job I previously had) and I found myself unable to juggle my life. All the reasons for why I quit working in the first place hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized I got myself in over my head. I have since hired someone to help me out in the mornings with my little guy so that has helped a lot. It will enable me to get through this 2 month deal but after that I am done. Even though I only have to do 4 hours each day, because I have to spread that out between school drop off, lunch, naps, school pick up, dinner, and managing my family I end up feeling like I am working all day because it takes from morning to night to get the full 4 hours in. I am stretched beyond belief. I feel like my head cannot be where it needs to be which is on my family. So all in all I guess I learned a good lesson. I am just not ready. I am not ready to go back to the rat race. The extra money is nice right now of course but it is so not worth the strain on my family, myself and my sanity. We have managed without it and we can do it again.

Now you are six

Tomorrow is my oldest son's 6th birthday. Today at his school they had a birthday ceremony for him. Parents can bring in a special birthday snack for the class. At circle time the child circles the center of the floor holding a globe, each revolution representing a year in the child's life. Parents are invited to attend the ceremony and share stories, pictures or artifacts to illustrate each year. The ceremony is concluded with songs.

I baked banana muffins to bring in. I wrote a poem for him and brought in a few pictures. The children were so wonderful. They loved the poem and asked a ton of questions when I was finished. They are learning about rhyming words right now so I thought it would be fun to discuss with them what a poem is. They especially liked seeing the pictures of my DS when he was a baby.

I wrote it in a very simple voice so it could be easily understood by the children. I thought I would share it with you.

Now You Are Six

Once a baby oh so small
So quickly it seemed
you learned to crawl.

You learned to walk when you were one.
Watching you change was so much fun.

At age two you loved to dance and sing
You loved books, art,
and learning about most everything.

Age three and four you were out the door
digging, building, and exploring more.

Age five was the year you sprouted tall.
Biking, swimming, and soccer
You loved to do it all.

Now you are six and in school at last
Meeting new friends -
learning and growing fast.

Happy Birthday my sweet child.

Job Interview

Yesterday I went on my first job interview in 11 years. It was horrible. In the end I was told I was a strong candidate but when I got into my car I burst into tears. I am left torn and confused and quiet honestly I hope it is not offered to me. Before becoming a SAHM two years ago I had worked for the same company for 9 years. My experience at this other company was wonderful. I got a ton of experience and learned so much about myself and business. It groomed me to be independent and a self starter. It paved my way to becoming a self employed entrepreneur that I now am. Being thrown back into an environment of strict schedules and corporate life was shocking to my system. I started to doubt why I was there. My intent was to get a part time job through the holidays to bring in some extra cash. The reality would be that I work 4 nights a week from about 6-11pm plus one weekend day. I thought perhaps it could be a little less than that but it doesn't look that way. I feel like I am struggling enough as it is keeping my family organized and my small business afloat. I honestly do not think I could burn both ends of stick by working until 11pm, getting to bed at midnight, and then up at 6am for my other full time job - my family.

My DH and I talked long and hard about it last night and I don't think he wants me to do it. He knows me too well and thinks it will be too much on me and the family. Talking to my mother did not help. She was a nurse and worked 3-11pm until I was in College. When I asked her how she did it she simply said "I had to. It was sink or swim." Although the money would help us a ton it isn't as dire for us. We have gotten by this far and we can continue to do it. But yes the money would help.

I am so torn. If I go with my gut (which I am a huge believer in) it would be to say no if the job is offered to me. I feel lost and confused.

Public School NOT Government School

So I pick my 6 year old up at school yesterday and he tells me he has been wearing his jacket all day. When I asked him why he told me that he kept forgetting to take it off. That he meant to after recess but they had to go into another classroom, then he meant to but it was time for lunch and so on. He said he was hot but he just felt like there was never time to take it off. I know the kids are supposed to be learning independence at school and the teachers cannot fuss over them like in preschool but I just thought perhaps the teacher could have asked him if he wanted to take off his jacket?

I ended up speaking to the teacher about it because I felt like it was just one of many things I have noticed since he started. There have been many things like this where he seems to be having a hard time remembering all that needs to come home each day, his super late lunch (1pm like I posted about earlier) and in general just getting used to a more rigid schedule.

The teacher was very receptive and felt bad that he was hot all day and felt like he didn't have time to stop and take off his jacket. What was very disheartening however was how she said that she even feels their schedules are so full this year and she even thinks they just go from one thing to another without having much breathing space. She explained how there is just so much they are supposed to fit into one day.

I left with a sad heart. There just seems to be no hope. These teachers don't want to teach like this. This time of schedule is not good for children. Yet our hands are tied. The teachers have to do what they are told. There is no flexibility. There is no hope to even work the the schools because parents, teachers do not run the schools now. The federal government does. And if they don't do what the federal government says they lose their funding. This is bull crap.

I want the schools to be state run again. If we are paying tax money to these schools I think the parents, teachers and state officials should be the ones who decide what is best for their local schools. There has go to be a better way. There has got to be a way to influence government officials to not renew the No Child Left Behind Act or at least alter it greatly. I urge you to read all you can about his act. I was floored when I actually read through all the actual text of it. There is a lot in there that might surprise you. Educate yourselves and get in touch with your local government officials. I contacted mine yesterday.

These are public schools we are talking about. Public schools that we all pay for. They are not and should not be run by the federal government.

Rockin' out

Last night I went out to Higher Ground to see my friend Neil Cleary play. Neil is a local legend around here. Former member of the Pants and now a well established singer/songwriter. He left Burlington (again) for Boston but he was back last night for his CD release party. I am so glad I went. He is simply amazing. This new album is very different for him but oh so good. You can read my original review of the album here.

I had a blast. Hung out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, got to chat with Neil, and listened to some great music.

Seven Days wrote a great article about him. You can read it here.

have a great weekend. I plan on doing some apple picking, going on a hike, cleaning my yard and practicing my guitar. Thanks for the inspiration on the last one Neil.

R.I.P Long Fin

A few weeks ago we got our kids their first pet. Enzo named him Long Fin because "he has long fins" my son said. They loved him so much. Tonight he died. It was horrible actually. We were getting ready for bed and the kids were watching the fish when all of a sudden he shot straight up to the top of the tank and then just kind of hung there for a moment before just sinking to the bottom. Enzo got very upset. The fish moved a little bit at first and then it became clear he had died. My son kept asking if he was going to get better. We had to finally tell him that Long Fin had died and was not going to come back. This was his first experience with death. He cried very hard as I held him. He asked my husband to take the fish bowl into the other room. He kept saying how unfair it was, that he wanted to still have him as a pet, and that we have not had him long enough. I agreed, cried with him and held him tight.

New! Nursing reminder bracelets

I am cross posting this from my studio blog (sorry if you read both) because it pertains to mama issues.

I will be delivering these new nursing reminder bracelets to Bebop Baby Shop in Essex Jct. Vermont this week.

Nursing reminder bracelets are worn on the mothers writs and easily slipped to the side she needs to nurse on next. Believe me (I nursed two babies) when you are in the fog of a new baby it is very easy to forget which side you need to nurse on at the next feeding. These small bracelets offer a stylish and easy to use reminder.

When I had my first child 6 years ago I needed a reminder. At first I just used one of my hair elastic bands on my wrist. Not only are they not very attractive, but they also tended to be on the tight side. I have always made stretch bracelets so I decided to just wear one of my own instead. I found that the beads I used on my regular bracelets were too large and would dig into my wrist while the baby was resting on my arm nursing.

By the time I had my second child I started to get it right. I started making specific bracelets with smaller, smoother beads for myself and friends specifically as a nursing reminder bracelet I decided to finally make a batch and offer them to the public. I also designed these with more neutral colors. I wanted it to be a bracelet a mom could wear with anything.

Now available at Bebop Baby Shop located online and at 167 Pearl Street, Essex Jct Vermont. Or call 802-316-3069

I am sick this weekend and staying low in doors. I finished up some nursing reminder bracelets I am making for a new local baby shop (details soon) and I just finished up making this homemade Sicilian pizza sauce. I made it from a large amount of local organic tomatoes I get from my CSA farmshare. The first pizza is cooking in the oven right now. Yum. I know the cheese won't be good for my cold but it sure will taste good.

Meet LongFin

The boys have been wanting to get a pet. Since I am allergic to cats and not quite ready for a dog we decided on a fish. Enzo named him Long Fin because according to Enzo "he has long fins".

I'm trying. I'm really trying to get into the whole public school system thing. I am so used to causal preschool where you go into the building, talk to the teacher, take your time leaving, have a say in what goes on etc. Now we stand outside, see the teacher for a second if we are lucky, and just have to trust the system. Trust the system. This is what everyone keeps telling me I have to do. I was horrified to find out my child who does not drink milk (not because of allergies) now drinks it twice a day because milk is all the school serves at snack and lunch. What? No water? I was told there is a water fountain in the hallway if the children want water. I am not saying milk is like soda or anything here, but I do think water should be served right along side of milk. My DS drinks soy milk with his cereal in the morning and has a cup at dinner time but he has never had a glass of cow milk in his life and now he has to drink it twice a day at school because that is all they offer.

Trust the system? You are talking to a girl who never trusted the system since the day she was born. I was the girl in school who fought the system from as early as I can remember. I remember fighting hall passes, and bells, protesting one year because state did not acknowledge Martin Luther King Day (the next year the school started holding assemblies), it seems I was always rocking the boat in school. I pined over all the kids who went to the nearby Waldorf school system. I never felt like I belonged where I was. I sucked at testing, math and science. I did well in English, Social Studies, music and the arts. I didn't learn the way others learned and because of that I suffered. My point here is that I did not trust the system as a child and I am now finding myself surrounded by those same thoughts and feelings again.

Of course I am much older and wiser now but my core has not changed. This time around instead of total rebellion I will choose to become an active member in the school. Yes Rockergirrl will join the PTO. I firmly believe parents have an important role in public education. There is a place for our opinions and ideas.

Watch out PTO - here I come.

1st Bento Box lunch

I have been on a search to find a lead free lunch box for my child. I have pimped the site reusablebags.com already here but I wanted to share with you the one I ended up getting. It is called laptop lunches and it is based on the concept of the Japanese bento box.

I love the idea of a product that supports offering children a healthy lunch consisting of a variety of choices rather than prepackaged foods.

I survived my first week of Enzo going to Kindergarten but they were just half days. Tomorrow he starts on his full day schedule is which is 8:10am-2:30pm. I still believe Kindergarten should only be half day but this is the way it is and I guess I will just have to see how it goes. So I packed his first lunch tonight in his new Bento box. The picture is bad but it consists of a bean, cheese and salsa burrito, grapes, corn chip and salsa and two little whole grain cookies. It goes into a super cute laptop style bag. He has been practicing with the bag all weekend and is excited to use it tomorrow. I on the other hand am terrified of him in the big lunch room. Now I know why they don't let the parents in the school each day. I would never leave.

Get Ready to STRUT

Live fashion show featuring local, independent artists and fashion designers plus a live DJ.
Awesome clothing and accessories will be for sale before and after each fashion show.
(so bring CASH $$)


Subsixstudios will be participating in the Saturday show only. I will have three new pieces from my new collection in the fashion show and I will also have a table set up selling jewelry before and after the show. See you then!

First Day of School

Today was Enzo's first day of school at Kindergarten. He was very excited to go. Yesterday we had open house and we ran into a family who had been in his daycare center when he was a baby. Their son was in the same infant room as Enzo and now they are in the same Kindergarten class. It was really neat seeing them again. Enzo and Lennon became instant buds. It really helped him today knowing he would see Lennon in line for school. It was over before I knew it and I found myself a weeping mess when I got home. The house seemed so quiet with just Sal and I in it. It felt so weird not having Enzo around but I looking forward to spending one on one time with Sal for the first time ever. He only goes half days this week. Next week they go a full day from 8:10-2:30. Despite how hard the morning was for us, Enzo had a wonderful time. When we picked him up he was full of stories and praise.

I have been a bit nervous because we ended up not sending him to our neighborhood school and instead choice an alternative program held at one of the other public schools in town. It is a non graded, multi age classrooms. They mix the Kinderkids and the 1st graders in one class and have the same teacher for those two years. It used to also mix the 2nd graders but because of the No Child Left Behind testing (bullshit) the 2nd graders had to be separated out to start tes prepping. We thought this would be a good program for Enzo because he is entering kindergarten at age 6 instead of 5 I really liked the idea of a multi age room. I have also read wonderful things about multi age classrooms for primary education and talked with many teachers who also believe in it for that level. The non graded aspect also appealed to me for that age group. The program is offered to everyone in the city. They open up slots from all the schools so there ends up being a mix of kids from all over. The downside is we have to drive everyday and since the school is downtown there is no parking so it is a bit of a pain for drop offs and pick ups. All and all we are very excited about this new phase in our lives. I might even become a member of the PTO (gasp).

rockergirrl out

1. I am going on vacation next week
2. My oldest son starts school for the first time the week after
3. I have a fashion show coming up quickly I have to finish getting ready for.
4. I have two craft events to help organize
5. I have a house to clean
6. I have a jewelry business to run
7. I have two websites to maintain
8. I have 4 blogs to contribute to
and most importantly
9. I have two kids to raise.

I am taking a much needed break from #s 1-8 so I can focus more on #9

see you later alligators.

Sprout Natural Parenting is opening a store on Church Street in October. They currently have a store in Brattleboro VT.

Here is a blurb from their brochure:

Sprout is a retail storefront and online store dedicated to natural parenting. New England's most comprehensive and holistic natuarl parenting store. Everything you need for the pregnant mom, baby and young child: slings and carriers, cloth diapers, organic and ecofriendly children's clothing and shoes, breastfeeding support & supplies, gear, furniture, books & resources, natural health, nursing & maternity wear, wooden, waldorf & montessori toys

They also have a changing station, play cubbies, nursing chair, gift registry, shipping & phone orders.

Sprout was voted "Best of Vermont Eco-conscious Baby Shop" by Boston Magazine in 2007

they will be located at 110 Church street in October. For those local folks they are talking over the space where Discover Channel store used to be.

The brattleboro location is 57 elliot street, brattleboro 802-254-2600

online store coming soon

Yeah I am pretty much going to camp out the night before they open and probably just end up living in their store. It is about time we got a store like this. I have been dreaming of doing something like this one day but at least someone is doing it and doing it very well it seems.

Mama Says

Rockergirrl has joined Mama Says as a new contributor.

Mama Says is a collobrative blog. A vehicle for the voice of the mother.

Linda began Mama Says in 2004. It has evolved from a print newsletter to a blog/list-serv + political/social action circle.

Linda is also the owner of Vermont Diaper Company
She has many other ventures up her sleeve. I have a feeling we will be colloborating quite a bit in the near future.

Recent Toy recalls

Everyone is in a tizzy over the latest recall. Everyone agrees something needs to be done. My solution? Stop spending money on these companies who choose to continue to use factories which are not abiding by our laws. We can blame China as a whole all we want but the reality is the company who chooses where their manufacturing will be done. It is up to the company to make sure the factories are producing products which pass our countries laws and standards. It is up the the company to do better testing etc. China is not all to blame. Fisher Price, Mattel and so on are also to blame. So stop supporting them. Choose to spend your money on better quality products. Choose to spend your money on a company who isn't shoving characters and kid advertising down our throats.

so that is my two cents. Don't ban just the country of China. Look also at the offending businesses that continue to choose factories that they fail to oversee properly.

Here are some alternatives
Rosie Hippo
Nova Natural
And for a plastic alternative Playmobil - Playmobil is a European company who makes high quality plastic toy figures and settings. Most of their products are for older children but they do now have a line called 1*2*3 for the little ones. The pieces are bigger etc. I love their products and my kids love their products. It is the only plastic stuff we own. They engage a child's imagination. They don't just just spin around making stupid noises.

Enzo lost his first tooth today. He actually started crying when it fell out. He was extremely upset because he said he didn't want it to be over. He didn't want it to fall out. It took us a while to calm him down. Enzo has always been an emotional kid. He is very sensitive to things that most kids his age would not even pick up on. He reminds me a lot of myself when I was little. Although he said he was upset because he wanted to keep wiggling the tooth I could tell there was much more going on inside of him that perhaps even he could no verbalize. The phase where a child loses there teeth means they are leaving an part of their childhood behind as they enter a new phase. He of course does not know about this but I am sure there is something inside of him that feels it. I can vividly remember having a hard time with every phase of growing up. Inside I would be very upset at the thought and signs that I was growing up. Perhaps it was because I was the youngest and I felt bad that my parents were losing their baby. Perhaps I was just scared to lose my childhood. I had a small pang in my heart when I watched Enzo cry today. A small part of me wanted to cry with him and for him. A part of me could remember and relate to the mixed emotions one feels when phased with the obstacles, excitement and worry of growing up.

Strut Fashion Show

Mark your calendars now. The South End Art Hop is quickly approaching. This year I am proud to announce I will unveiling a few pieces from my new collection at the Strut Fashion show put on by the Art hop. There are two dates for the fashion show this year. The main clothing categories will show on Friday Sept7th at 9pm. The show I will be in is on Saturday Sept8th at 3pm for jewelry, accessories and kids.

I am very excited about my new collection. I have been busy preparing for it. Birthing a new collection is exciting. I love all aspects of it. Right now I am finishing up the three pieces I will be presenting at the fashion show. This collection is something completely new for me. It is very different from everything I have done up to this point. I hope you will join me on Saturday Sept 8th for the big unveiling.

What a weekend. On Saturday we headed down to our CSA farm to pick our weekly share of flowers and beans. We do our veggie pick up on Thursdays but they allow you to do the pick you own portions anytime during the week. It allows us to wait until the weekend when JB can come with us. The kids loving going there and it such a lovely place to be. Saturday night JB and I had our second date all year. My lovely neighbors offered to babysit the kids again. They are the best neighbors I could ever ask for. I feel so lucky to live next to them. We decided to go to an early movie and ended up seeing Stardust. I liked it. Some my think it was cheesy but we both actually enjoyed it. It was a cross between The Princess Bride and The Holy Grail. After the movie we sat outside of a local watering hole and had a beer.

It was so nice to be out with JB. It was amazing to be downtown on a Saturday night too.

Kid Rock

My absolute favorite children's musician Justin Roberts is coming to Higher Ground Music in South Burlington on October 13th for a special Noontime show.

If you have kids you cannot miss this show. I am super picky about what kind of children's music gets played in this house. No Barney crap here. This guy is enjoyable for both kids and adults. I actually like putting his CD on to listen to with the kids. If you are looking to buy one to get to know his music a bit better I recommend Great Big Sun as your first choice. It is by far the BEST.

Updates

My mom is out of the hospital Things are still unknown right now and I will post more as I know more but for now I would rather not. Life changes and family changes and we will get through whatever obstacles are ahead because that is what families do.

Enzo has his first loose tooth. I can't believe it. The dentist noticed it a few months ago at his cleaning but it wasn't until recently that it became all wobbly. He seems too young to me (he will be 6 in October) but the dentist said it happens between ages 6 and 7. I is yet another milestone. A big one for me though. the change of teeth. I am not a Waldorf purist by any means. My children do not even attend Waldorf schools. I have however been reading Waldorf inspired parenting books since I was pregnant and have incorporated many aspects of it into our home life. In Waldorf world the change of the teeth is a significant time for children. It demonstrates physical changes as well as an awakening to the world which eventually leads to the child exiting the early childhood behind.

I already see many changes in him both physically and mentally. I am so proud to watch this growth but at the same time I cannot deny a slight sadness I feel as well.

For Mom

Summer at Stricker's Pond
Originally uploaded by Mingfong

My mom is in the hospital. These flowers are for you mom.

xoxo

Isn't it ironic?

Ok this is insane. I wrote the post yesterday about getting all my replacement music from when my basement flooded a few months ago and you will never believe what happened yesterday. My freakin' basement flooded AGAIN. I thought I was going to lose my mind. The exact same thing happened as before. I put in a load of laundry, came upstairs to hang towels on the clothes line and then started dinner. About an hour later I went to wash a few dishes and noticed there was no hot water. I could hear the wash downstairs still going and all of a sudden I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I opened the basement door, walked downstairs and proceeded to scream "Oh no not again" at the top of my lungs. The entire basement was once again flooded with water. This time it wasn't as bad. We had almost 6 inches last time. This looked more like 2 inches but still it covered corner to corner of the basement. I started freaking out and the kids started freaking out. I felt so bad that I could not stay in control.

This really came at a bad time. I just had contractors here the same day telling me how much I was going to have to spend to fix extensive window rot I have going with three windows in our house. Now I have a deductible to pay and a new washer to buy. Also JB has been working 7 days a week until midnight and now all of a sudden we have to both be available somehow to clean up the basement. That won't go over very well at his work. So Serve Pro came out once again and installed a pump last night. All the water is now gone but we now must have their industrial sized dehumidifiers and fans going down there for several days until it is all dried out.

So I am pretty much a stress case. I feel overwhelmed. I really didn't need to add going to the Laundromat three times a week to my already hectic life. I don't need another thing I can't afford to pay for go wrong with this house. I need things to calm down. I need my husband to not have to work so much so we can share the load more. I need a vacation.

Music to my ears

A few months ago my basement flooded. The bad news is we lost many boxes of books and cassette tapes. The good news is we got insurance money to replace them. Since cassettes are no longer being produced we were able to spend money on CDs. I haven't bought much new music in the past few years. One of the luxury items I had to give up when I chose to quit my job. So you can image how exciting it was for me to be given a dollar figure and told to go shopping on Amazon. It was extremely hard. There was so much pressure. How do you choose what to get? Well I just got my shipment in. You might be surprised by the selection but here we go.

Pearl Jam - the latest one
Wilco - Sky blue sky
Son Volt - The Search
Modest Mouse - Good news for people who love bad news
Neko Case - Ffox Confessor brings the flood
Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism
Sarah McLachlan - Surfacig
Neil Young - Prairie Wind
The Donnas - Gold metal
Evanescence - Fallen
R.E.M. - The best of the IRS years
The Postal Service - Give it up
Tori Amos - Bee keeper
Built to Spill - There's nothing wrong with love
Death Cab for Cutie - Plans
Norah Jones - Come away with me
Bob Marley - Legend
Belle and Sebastian - if you're feeling sinister
Brightblack Morning light
Pink - I'm not dead
My Morning Jacket - Okonokos
Tori Amos - American doll posse
Modest Mouse - We were dead before
Ryan Adams - Rock n roll
Cat Power - The Greatest
Bright Eyes - Cassadaga
Bright Eyes - I'm wide awake it's morning
Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger
Kelly Clarkson - My December (ok shut up)
Heavenly States - Black Comet
Joss Stone - Mind, body soul

Now I just need to find time during the day when I can safly listen to some of these without my kids picking up some new bad words.

Strap it on

I bought myself a new guitar this weekend. I am quite thrilled. When I moved to CA in 1998 I had to sell my cherry red Fender strat because I had decided to only take my acoustic with me. I have been without an electric since then. This weekend E an I headed to our local music store for a big sale they were having. Our mission was to get him some drum sticks because he started taking lessons. Well we came home with a bit more than drum sticks. I also found a great deal on a Fender Squire that came with a mini amp and I just could not pass it up. I am in love. It is actually the inspiration I needed to practice more and practice differently.

BeforeAfter

I dug up my hastas last fall and since then the side of my house has been bare. I thought with the cart load of flowers I bought the other day I should use some to fill in the space.

Flower score

This was my cart at the end of my trip. It barely fit in my car with two kids and a dog.

Claussen's is having a All-U-Can Carry sale starting today.
All you can carry for $20.00 or a cart load for $40.00

I chose the cart and ended up with probably hundreds of dollars worth of flowers.

It felt like Christmas today.

This I believe

On October 7, 2006 Michelle Gardner-Quinn was brutally murdered. She was a UVM student. She was taken from our downtown streets and forever taken away from us. I did not know her personally but the crime shook up our entire community.

Two days before she was murdered she submitted an essay to her environmental studies class. This video made for Live Earth contains experts of that essay. The essay is read by Tipper Gore, Sarah Ferguson the Duchess of York, Goldie Hawn, Kate Hudson, Sheryl Crow, Meg Ryan, Emily Proctor and Michelle's Mother Diane Gardner Quinn.

World Breastfeeding Week is Coming!

Burlington's Celebration, sponsored by the Chittenden County Breastfeeding Promotion Coalition and La Leche League of Burlington, will be held on August 4th, 10:00 am - 2:00 pm, at Contois Auditorium in City Hall, on Church Street, downtown Burlington.

Read more info on the event here.

I attended the event last year and it was wonderful and empowering. I will attend this year for sure.

Please pass this info on. Spread the word. Get involved.

In support of all the strong women out there I know I give you this.

My friend over at Vinceland wrote this amazing post called

Girls are the New Guys

I think it is fantastic and so is he.

He gives a shout out to me in it too so I thought I would return the favor.

Give it a read.

Sorry

So I wanted to apologize for getting all crafty on this blog lately. I have been toying with getting rid of my studio blog and combining it into this one and then changing the name. I have decided however to keep them separate. I will continue on here with my opinionated rants and raves regarding parenting, products and sometimes politics. My studio blog will continue on its own as my creative space.

see you back on the dark side soon.

Exciting News

Starting Wednesday I will be selling earrings at Studio STK's Art to Go store in Burlington VT.

These 5 will be the first pairs I deliver on Wednesday. If you are not local do not worry. They will be launching an ecommerce site soon. So stay tuned.

Stop in if you are local or check back on the site for the launch of their new online shop.

I am

I am an artist. It has taken me almost 20 years to be able to finally use that label. Since school I have dabbled in so many different things only half doing them well that I never felt worthy of that title. I have been writing poetry since elementary school, taught myself guitar, took up photography, pottery, singing and jewelry making in high school. Through college and beyond I still did many of these hobbies in my spare time but I was always jealous of friends of mine who had one direct interest.

Becoming a parent has changed me. It has given me the confidence I needed to pursue my dreams and finally see myself as a creative soul. Many people believe that having children will hurt their creative edge. For me it sharpened mine. I now have more drive to embrace my hobbies and own them as my own. I now find creativity in areas I never imagined. Cooking, gardening and home improvements are other areas of home inspired creativity I immerse myself in on a daily basis. Whether it is making homemade pesto from our garden grown basil or painting my front door purple I choose to make my home a place of inspiration through color, design and lots of flowers. All of this feeds my current passion for designing jewelry and also keeps me writing and playing guitar as well.

I am an artist. I choose wear this title with pride. I choose to be whoever I want to be. I choose to never back down from my dreams. I choose to show my children the importance of finding their passion.

I am creative, strong, weak and driven. I want to dream and weep, write and scream, play lost songs to searching souls. I want to raise my sons to be anything but the ordinary. I am a seeker, a dreamer , a dancer in the darkness.

Magic cottage gets a facelift

I have always wanted a purple front door. Today I picked out the most glorious shade of purple and made my dream come true. Now my magic cottage looks even more magical.


Before the purple paint

After the purple paint

After the purple paint

I was thinking of you the whole time

My friend Neil Cleary has just finished recording his third solo CD called I was thinking of you the whole time. It is not officially released until the fall but he has about 100 copies available for early purchase. I came home Sunday from a trip to find mine waiting for me in my mailbox. As Neil describes it "inspired by two of my favorite albums, Liz Phair's Exile In Guyville and Aimee Mann's Bachelor #2, it takes a sorta wry look at hookups and letdowns, except from the perspective of the villainous heartbreaker character on the other end. It's a little trip to the dark end of the psyche -- and with a fun-time summer-rockin' beat!"

My review of it? He is magic. Pure magic. He has the ability to make the girls wonder if one of his songs is about them and the others hoping one could be.

Check him out at
www.neilcleary.com

Listen to tracks from the CD and or buy one of these early releases
www.myspace.com/neilcleary

When Silence Speaks

Wonderful Waterworld (via B.Wilson)

Introducing my new tumblelog titled When Silence Speaks. It is a collection of photos, words, art, and design I find inspiring.

check it for daily updates. get inspired.

want to know what a tumblelog is? Find out here.

7 Years

Saturday JB and I celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary. His parents were in town so they watched the kids while we went out. We started our evening with some drinks at one of our favorite bars. They have the best back patio that reminds us both of bars in San Francisco. We then had dinner at Leunig's Bistro. The meal was excellent but I was a bit bummed on the service. I actually had to get up and as the host for water during our meal because it was never put on our table. Isn't that the first thing put on the table when you sit down? The food was so good it outweighed the bad service. After dinner we stopped at Uncommon Ground for coffee and cookies. We got to sit in the window and watch a fabulous street performer on Church Street. It was a wonderful night.

JB and I met only one year before we were married. We met in May of 1999 in San Francisco. Set up by a mutual friend, we fell fast and furious for each other. We used to frequent a place called Zeitgeist and it is here where we both said je t'aime to each other for the first time. Four months later we found out I was pregnant. Sadly we lost the baby who we call "little" but we knew at this point we were meant to be together . We moved into a tiny apartment a block from Ocean Beach and planned our wedding. We were married 7 months later on June 16. 2000.

After a honeymoon in Mexico we packed a UHaul and left the city that watched us fall in love.

Here is a poem I wrote about JB the month I first met him.

An innocent meeting
in an office bright
Is when you first came
into my sight.
I know it sounds corny
but yet it is true
I never knew what love at first sight was
until I met you.

You made my heart flutter
my soul melt like butter
We spoke or the first time
and that was the sign.

I think you are the reason
I have been looking so long
I think you are the reason
everything up until now has been wrong.
-----------------------------

happy anniversary lover.

Swing me silly

Thank you to our family and friends who contributed to the swing set for Sal's birthday. It is finally finished and the boys have been playing on it every second of the day.

Going local

My decision to become a vegetarian over 15 years ago forced me to learn more about food and cooking. In order to get the proper nutrients I had to learn to eat more than pasta and cheese. I moved to VT in 1991 when I was a freshman at Southern Vermont College in Bennington VT. After college I moved up to the Stratton area. One of my many jobs was at a health food store in Londonderry. It was here where I learned so much more about food and natural health. I worked in the store during the day and at night I did prep cook work for the restaurant they owned next door. I loved going into the garden each evening and picking the editable flowers to add to each freshly made salad for the customers that night.

After a few years we grew tired of the resort life. I had just turned 21 and I craved music, nightlife and more creative energy so we headed north and settled in Burlington. Three or four years later I had an opportunity to move to CA and I took it. I spent 2 years there before moving back to Burlington after meeting and getting married in CA before we left. Tomorrow will be our 7 year wedding anniversary and 7 years since we moved to VT from CA.

Ever since we got here we have never really thought we would stay. Two children, a house and 7 years later we are still here and I finally feel like our roots are planted. Yesterday I was reminded of just why I love VT so much.

We joined our local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm share program the Intervale Community Farm. We did it with another farm a few years ago where we picked up our weekly veggies at a house in the neighborhood. This one is completely different. You actually go to the farm to get your share. So we pull up with the two kids and we thought there was a party going on. Kids everywhere playing together, climbing trees, and digging in the sandboxes. Watching adults sitting around conversing with each other and the kids playing just gave me this overwhelming sense of community. We picked up our share of food and also were lucky to pick our own strawberries and herbs on top of our share for that week. We stayed to let the kids play for a while. It was truly wonderful. The kids can't wait to go back.

VT has a huge "buy local" kick right now. Supporting these farmers through the csa programs, buying local products as much as possible is helping to add to VT economy. The other benefit is environmental. Why buy lettuce that has been trucked out from CA when you can buy it local? The taste difference is hands down undeniable. Of course the winter months can get tough to buy local veggies but a lot of these farms are also starting to offer winter shares to get carrots, squash etc throughout the winter.

I highly recommend seeing if your area offers a CSA farm share program. Not only are you getting super fresh food, you are also saving money and helping support the farmers. There are so many wonderful reasons why everyone should start thinking local. Help build a better community where you live.

Why I hate the ice cream truck

Remember the neighbor hood ice cream truck? Well we have one in our neighborhood but I want to run out and throw rocks at it whenever it goes by. Why? Because for the past 5 years I have lived in this neighborhood we are on the suckiest route. That darn truck only drives by my house at dinner time or right before bed. Now I know I eat a lot earlier than most (6:00) and my kids go to be pretty early (7:00 & 8:00) but come on now. Is it too much to ask to get on a different route one time.

I am not big on the crap they sell in those things but my oldest is 5 1/2, it is summer and I would like to be able to indulge him once in a while. My poor kids hear the dumb music being played from the truck miles away and they jump from the dinner table or run to the window in the pj's to oogle at the truck.

One time a few weeks ago it managed to find its way down my street on a Saturday at around 2:00 in the afternoon. Our ears perked at the sound of the music, we dropped what we were doing and made a dash across the backyard, threw open the fence and flagged down the truck. Before I even gave my order the poor guy got an earful from me about how I think they should put some other streets on the night time shift and give us a break for once. Needless to say that was the one and only time we saw them during the day.

oh well - we don't need all that partially hydrogenated crap anyway.

Date night

JB and I before we left.

My $2.o0 outfit.

All of my yardsale finds for $7.00

This weekend started out right with an early morning yard sale adventure with two of my friends. There is this super funky neighborhood in our town that has a sale every year. If you are into funky, vintage items for some reason this street has it all. I usually hit the same house first. I hit the jackpot this year. It is the home to an artist who opens up her backyard studio and sells vintage clothing and nik naks. It picked up 6 pieces of clothing and a table cloth for $7.00. This new clothing came at the perfect time. JB and I were headed out on a date that night. To see our first movie at a theater together in 5 years.

My friend gave me movie tickets and a night of babysitting for my birthday. She is pregnant and due at the end of July so we decided to use the gift now before she give birth. I picked out my outfit from my new selection of clothing. It felt amazing to put on some new clothes and feel comfortable and new for my date. The evening was gorgeous. We had a drink before the movie. It felt so good to be out with JB.

The experience rejuvenated me. I have been feeling frazzled and burnt out. It is amazing what a new outfit and a night out can do to refuel you.

I did it!

Well last night I performed at the Moms Who Rock show at Higher Ground. I was a wreck all day on Sunday. The nerves finally kicked in and I had butterflies all day. JB dropped me off at the venue at 5:00pm where I met up with the other 25 moms who were performing that night. You could see us all scanning the room trying to figure out who could really sing and who couldn't. We got the song order and I learned I would be #21 out of 25 performers. I was pretty bummed. We all took turns going up on stage to get a feel for the mic and the setting. I got a bit nervous when a few of the moms belted out a few notes to test the mic. Um yeah non professions - I think not.

So the show began. JB was there and a group of my friends. I felt a bit better as the show started and several people forgot lines and froze on stage. It made me realize everyone was in the same boat as me. That is until a few of the ladies got up and it was crystal clear these moms have sung in bands before (which was supposedly against the rules) they hit every word, hit every note perfectly and pretty much made me want to puke.

My turn finally came. I waited on the side of the stage as they announced me and read my bio. We were asked why we joined the Moms Who Rock competition. The announcer read my response which was "I want to prove that being a mother is more than playdates and playdough." I was pumped to go up on stage. Walking up the stairs and crossing the stage was the BEST feeling. The band started and I felt very comfortable. I got through my entire performance as I had practiced, didn't miss one word, BUT I sang it completely off key from the band. I knew it but I couldn't fix it and I just decided to give it my all. I was proud I went up there, proud I didn't mess up and freeze on stage. The singing (if you can call it that) was off but man did I rock out and have fun.

The evening ended when they called everyone up on stage to present the gifts that all the performers were getting. A brand new Shure microphone, manicure/pedicure, pot of flowers, gift card to Pizza Put, and a bag filled with soaps organic snacks and goodies. I felt like a winner. Three first place winners were chosen and they got a spa overnight in addition to all the goodies we got. Of course it was the three who obviously sang in bands before. They did a great job and deserve it of course but I did find it a bit irritating that people were allowed to perform who obviously were very experienced at playing with a band and being on stage. It just seemed to go against what it was supposed to be about.

See we never got to play with the band before last night. We were given a cd of the original recording of our song choice and that was it. We had to practice with the cd and then show up to play with a band doing their version of the song. I have never sung with a band before so I had no clue how to try to match them once I was into the song. I am done feeling embarrassed about it. The first time I watched back the video I cringed at the vocals. The second time I watched it I could see beyond the vocals and focus on my stage performance which freakin' rocked. I did look comfortable, I did rock out, I did look like I belonged there. I am going to take this opportunity to push myself harder, practice more, get back out on the open mic scene and keep rockin'.

All in all it was a very successful benefit for the Burlington Woman's Rape Crisis Center and that is what it was really all about. They are truly the winners. Someone at the event even gave a $1,000 check. Amazing!

**Thanks to everyone who came out for the show. The place was packed. Special thanks to my friends who came out to support me and the cause.

more pics

Moms Who Rock - getting nervous

photo: me at high school talent show 1991

So Sunday is my big show. I will self promote for a minute here again - Sunday 7/3 at Higher Ground I will be participating in a benefit for the Women's Rape Crisis Center of Burlington. It is a called Moms Who Rock and you can read about it here.

So I am starting to get pretty nervous. I have performed only a few times. My first was in Highschool (which is my avatar pic right now) I played my guitar and sang a Sinead O'conner song. Funny huh. I went on to do two more events like that in college. After college I played at a weekly open mic in Southern Vermont at a place called the Red Fox. After moving to Burlington and having kids my playing generally stayed in the basement. I have only done one open mic since moving here (7 years ago). The other bit of important info is that I am not very good. I have been involved in music since picking up the clarinet for school band in middle school, finding the guitar in highschool and involved in chorus and select choir all through high school also. I have also been writing poetry and songs since elementary school and that has been my driving force to sing and play guitar. BUT I am not that good. I am just a person who has an inner drive to write and sing even though I know I will never try out for Americal Idol or anything. I just can't stop. It is what I do and it is what I have to keep doing.

So I am going into this performance on Sunday with an open mind. It is my first time ever singing with a band. It will be my first time and probably last time playing on the stage at Higher Ground. I mean what an opportunity right? That is why I had to jump at the chance. One of the many things that having children and aging has taught me is I can push away my fears a bit easier and just go for it. In an age of American Idol where people are expected to be perfect I just have to hold on to the hope that there are still a lot of great performers out there who have made who would never have even passed the first try out on American Idol.

I am not perfect but I have something to share with the world and nothing will stop me.

Digging in the dirt

It has been a busy week working on my garden and yard. I put up a gazebo on my back deck which has almost given us another room. We were unable to sit out there during the day because it gets the direct sun all day and was way too hot. We can actually enjoy the space now. On sale for $69.99 at Ace Hardware.

We had a birthday bash for me on Saturday. Friends came over for some bocce ball and good food. I got lots of wonderful goodies from my friends. A two hour massage, homemade massage oil and comfy salve, a wonderful bag, movie passes and a night of babysitting, a gift card to Gardeners Supply and another one to Made Boutique. Thanks everyone!

The rest of the weekend was spent in my garden. I finished planting my veggie garden. Decided to go small and do it well. I invested money in bags of Intervale compost to make my soil happy and I planted 4 tomato plants in between my peas and chives. I also planted two strawberry plants. They will all live among the many sunflowers my son and I planted earlier. I also added to my herb/kids garden. We built a spiral herb garden and it is now filled with basil, lemon balm, parsley, cilantro and mint. Lavender and Rosemary are planted around it. With my gardeners supply gift card I was able to buy an amazing big blue ceramic pot to put in my back garden (thanks Kim for the tip) and I planted bulbs in it.

It was an amazing weekend of digging in the dirt.

***I have been trying to upload pictures to blogger for two days and I am still unable to. Argh! So for now you can see my recent garden pics that should have gone with this post on my flickr site here