Saturday, December 31, 2005

New year / New house

I am a homeowner

Let me say it again -

I am a homeowner.

Happy frickin' new year to us!

Yes that is correct. We closed on our first home yesterday. It is a bit anti climatic because we bought the house we have been living in and renting for the past 3 1/2 years. I know - how lucky that we don't have to move. Believe me, with two kids I realize what a good thing that is, it just blows a little bit that I will miss out on the excitement of moving into my first home. We finished signing all the papers, got into the car and drove back to our same house. Well we did crack a beer when we got home and said "we own this place" to each other about every 5 minutes or so.

I woke up this morning on New Years Eve looking at the house with different eyes though. My brain is already going over paint colors and new organizational techniques. We won't have the money to do anything to the house the first year but a girl can dream.

So that is that. Happy New Year! I own a house. Yee-hoo!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Holiday update






Week three (or is it 4) staying home full time with the kiddies. It is going a bit smoother. I realized after getting a plugged duct the second week that I need to slow down a bit and not cart the kids around every single day. We need chill out days at home. JB went away for a few days the second week and that really threw me for a loop. I NEVER thought I could get two kids to bed by myself. I was wrong. Not only did I do it but they were both in bed and sleeping by 7:30. Super mom! I feel like I am kind of getting into the swing of things. It has helped having new toys in the house for E to play with. We have had a mellow week of sticking around the house. The weather has been warm so we have been able to get outside every day.

Christmas was wonderful. E was so excited this year. His wish list included a pirate ship, a castle and a new cash register. He was very pleased to get all three. My parents came up for the weekend. It was great to see them. I asked E what his favorite part of Christmas was this year. His answer just made my heart melt. He said, "being able to play with Mimi and Grampa." That's my boy.


We are one day away from becoming homeowners. We decided to finally buy the house we have been renting for the past 4 years. Tomorrow we close. I cannot believe it. I never thought this would happen. I will be more excited on New Years Eve. It will be a great reason to celebrate.

Friday, December 02, 2005

The times they are a changing

I have waited 4 years to be able to become a SAHM. I am now one week away from it being official and I am freaking out. Am I making the right choice? Here is what is going on in my head right now.

Money will be SO tight - JB and I worked so hard to get out of debt and finally be a point where we were doing ok. Not great but have not been sweating it like we used to in the past. Now we are about to become a one income family. It is all material things we will be giving up but I am so afraid of not being able to provide for my children the way I want to. In a way I am looking forward to being forced into becoming super thrifty.

I have to pull EZ from preschool. - The first year at least EZ will have to stop going to preschool. It is just too expensive. See in my town you can't get a true preschool program anymore. Preschool really is just a half day thing (or used to be) but now that so many people need full time care you have to pay the full time price in most cases. On one hand I am afraid to pull him out but on the flip side - come on - he will be at home.

We are about to buy a house. - WHAT? Yes that is correct. We are hoping to close on our house the same month I stop working. Luckily it is the house we have been renting for the past 3 1/2 years so we don't have to move anywhere. Are we crazy though?

It is freakin' hard being home full time. Anyone who thinks it is easy is insane. My desk job was CAKE compared to this. There are not lunch breaks, coffee breaks or even bathroom breaks. My day starts at 6am (or earlier sometimes) and ends at about 8:00pm. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had but the hardest too.

Those are my thoughts and fears. I am about to jump in head first. I will keep you posted on how it is going.

Thanksgiving adventure

We just came back from our Thanksgiving adventure to Kentucky. We all drove down to spend a week at JB's aunt's house. A big old farm house where his father grew up with his 12 siblings. It was an amazing trip. First of all the drive really was not as bad as I thought. We did it in two days down, two days back. The way down was a bit long. The kids did great. I on the other hand did not. Luckily the stay was long enough so I didn't feel like we had to jump right back into the car. The trip back actually seemed to go by much faster. We enjoyed a great Thanksgiving gathering with about 29 of their family members. It was so much fun. Enzo just loved being on a farm. He had so much fun tramping around every day. The worst part was that Sal just did not want to sleep at nigh. All four of us shared a room. Sal was up every 1-2 hours all night long for the entire week. I was a walking zombie while I was there. I was amazed at how hill Kentucky actually is. I have to admit I had preconceived ideas of what it would be like there. I was quite surprised. I am so glad we went.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

November update





What a month already. First of all I can't believe it is November. Almost mid November now I guess. Here are a few quick updates. It is late and I am tired.

Sal -
Sal is 6 months old now. He has been busy perfecting his crawl. He started out doing the "army crawl" and has been working on getting up on his knees more the past could of days. We also introduced rice cereal into his life. We try it once a day (if I remember) and some days he is into it but other days he could care less. I am not a big food pusher at this age so I just go with his interest level. His personality is shining through more and more each day though. His laughter just brings so much joy to my life.

Enzo -
Enzo is busy being 4. He told me the other day - "Mommy, 4 year olds can do everything except cook on the stove." He loves (sometimes) helping out around the house and with Sal. He can make Sal laugh the hardest of everyone. It is very heart warming to watch him interact with his brother. Enzo has also been very busy learning letters. He has always been a book warm but we have been reluctant pushing early learning on him. I personally do not like how academics is getting pushed on children younger and younger but that is for a different post. He has been very interested in letters lately though which has been cool to watch. He likes to look at a word and then copy the letters on a piece of paper to recreate it. His favorite thing right now is to create books and letters that he mails to people. So cool.

I am in the final phases of my job. I am training my replacement right now so the end is in sight. It has been more difficult working this part time from home schedule than I thought. I am so looking forward to my next phase. We are also busy house hunting. Well actually we are looking into purchasing the home we have been renting. So I have been at home with the kids, working and managing the house project too.

That is my update for this week. Next week we are taking a family trip and driving to Kentucky for Thanksgiving. It will be my first time and I am looking forward to it.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Where are we?





This weekend we went to our favorite pumpkin farm. After taking some nice fall pictures we decided to take a leaf peeping drive up to Bolton Valley mountain which is about a 10 minute drive from where we were. Well as you can see in these photos instead of seeing leaves we entered a winter wonderland. Enzo (and I) could not believe our eyes. They had so much snow. Enzo just had to jump out of the car in just his shoes into large snowbanks. He had so much fun making a snowman and sliding on the ice. I myself was glad to drive back down the hill and reenter fall land. I am just not quite ready for winter yet.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

House of sickies

I have been sick and it sucks. Sal has been sick and that sucks even more. I think one of the biggest challenges to being a parent is when the family gets sick. Monday I was home with both kids. Sal and I were super sick. Enzo was not. I think Enzo watched more TV than he has ever seen in his life becasue Sal and I were just stuck together in sickness and could not move. These are the times it is really really hard to not have any family around to help out. Today Sal and I are feeling better but I have this strange feeling Enzo is getting it next. I think we got it from a playdate we had last week. People please - if your kids are sick - don't bring them to my house. I really don't need your snotty kids around my baby. Why do people do this? No warnings at all. It drives me nuts.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Night Out

Saturday night I went out. JB stayed home with the boys. Some friends of mine were having a Halloween party with their band playing at a bar downtown. So I put Sal down to bed at 8:00, got myself all dressed up (sort of a gypsy, disco diva) and went with my neighbors from across the street. It was my first night out since having Sal 5+ months ago. It felt great! Too great at times. 11:00 hit and I had to be good and get back in my car to drive home. I knew the little one would be up around 3am to feed. I was tired the next day but it was worth it. I love seeing live music so it was very good for my soul. It was a reminder that I need to force myself to do things like this every so often. Especially now that I am home full time. This mama needs to socialize with the big kids once in a while.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Passion



Two jobs? What was I talking about in the last post? I really have three jobs right now. My jewelry biz is keeping me super busy. After bedtime is over I pull out my beads and start creating. It is becoming my nighttime ritual. I have been able to bust out 2-5 pieces a night depending on how fried my brain is from the day. The creating part is the most fun. After that I have to log all the info about each piece and in the morning I photograph each one and get them up on my website. It is a lot of work but worth it for sure. The problem is that I should also be studying at night for my Childbirth Education classes but I have been ignoring that so far. I need to set up a schedule so that certain nights I make jewelry and certain nights I study. I guess it would be good to stick in a night or two of not doing anything. Yes that would be nice for sure.

I had so many fears about quitting my job and now I just can't wait to get it off my back. I finally feel I have found my calling. Between the jewelry and the childbirth classes for the first time in my life I know this is my track. My friend was discussing this on another blog. The career I am ending right now was where I was meant to be for those 9 years. No doubt about that. That company help mold me into who I am today. Heck I wouldn't have met my husband if it hadn't sent me West for a few years. Change is sometimes needed though and I think everyone has that feeling in their gut when it is time. For me it is now. I need to jump right in and embrace this new journey of motherhood and independent entrepreneur.

I have been making jewelry since highschool - on and off throughout the years. Never serious though. I started it up again a few years ago. I sold a few pieces here and there to friends at work and family members. Over the past two years I have learned so much and grown my craft. I still sell mainly to friends and family but word of mouth is finally growing beyond them. The holidays are busy for me so I am working like mad every night right now to get a good inventory set up.

I have set myself a personal goal to be finished with my Childbirth education program by next summer. Ha - not sure about that after having a new baby this summer but we will see.

Art and Birth, Birth and Art. My new passions.

Friday, October 14, 2005

How did I end up with two jobs?

I decided during the end of maternity leave that I couldn't go back to work after having my second child. It was a huge decision for me as I have been working for this company for 9 years. It meant letting go of my other self and it was scary. But I did it - well kind of. I offered to work three days a week from home until they found a replacement. That was several months ago now. I have both kids two days and just the baby on the days I am working. I am just waiting and hoping they will find a replacement soon so I can focus on being home with the kids and finally kicking into gear my own business. Right now I am wearing too many hats and they are getting heavy.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

the meaning of my birthday

Yikes this is so true. thanks April for finding this.




Your Birthdate: May 22



While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings.

You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion.

Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings.



Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma.

An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail.

You are very aware and intuitive.

You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Enzo turns 4!

Enzo turned 4 today. 4 years old! I can't believe it has been 4 years since I gave birth to him. We decorated the kitchen last night after he went to bed so when he woke up this morning he would have a surprise. He loved it! He opened up a few small presents and then I dropped him off at preschool for the morning. We ordered pizza for dinner and had cake and ice cream after opening the rest of his presents. It was a nice day but it went by too fast. I find myself getting so emotional now on his birthdays. Trying so hard to make them perfect so he will have wonderful memories of them. It is crazy how as parents we try to recreate our own childhoods for our kids. I worry too much.

I am so proud of that kid. He is doing so well and instead of being happy I feel so sad tonight. Sad that he is 4, sad that time is going by so fast, sad that he is no longer a baby, sad that I can't hold him for more than a second before he runs off to do something else, sad that I can't just enjoy this day. What is wrong with me? No one told me how having children would turn me into an emotional puddle.

It really was a very nice birthday. It is just because there is such a build up to his birthday this year. It was the first one he was really into. You spend so much time planning and wanting everything to be perfect so they enjoy their day. Then the day comes and goes and I am left feeling empty. We are having a big party on Saturday with our family and some of his preschool friends. I hope the rain will hold off so I don't have to fit all the people in my tiny house.

Happy birthday Enzo! I hope you enjoyed your day.
You are the light of my life.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Plastic Bags Blow

A Back to School Warning:
Children's Vinyl Lunch Boxes Can Contain Dangerous Levels of Lead

Please check out this statement from the Center for Environmental Health.

This is not a joke
http://www.cehca.org/lunchboxes.htm


Buy cotton lunch bags as a safe alternative
http://www.reusablebags.com

Monday, September 26, 2005

night time/down time/no time/me time

The babe has been waking during the night. I am feeling like I did in the early weeks again. I hope he is just hitting a growth spurt or something. Enzo was just so easy. We would put him down and that was that. You knew he was down for the night. Sal is a bit more unpredictable these days. He is in our room still and it seems like every time I go to climb into bed and shut my eyes he wakes up 30 minutes later. I am talking like this happens every night now. It really was just last night but I feel like it has been going on for weeks.

Every night we say we will go to bed early and every night we stay up too late. It is just so hard to retire early even though I am exhausted. After both kiddies go down it is about 8:30ish. Then it is time to clean up the toys and all the messes around the house and make lunches for the next day. It is after 9:00 before I can sit down on the couch and stare blankly at the TV or computer because my mind is so numb from the day. Two hours later John and I realize we are in the same room together (kind of joking) and we start talking until it is 11:00 and we say to ourselves how we really need to go to bed earlier.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Sal is 4 months!


Sal is 4 months old today! How can this be? People always tell you when you have a baby to cherish every moment because they grow so fast. This advice is so true but even more so when you have the second child. I feel like I missed the early infant days. Not because I was sleep deprived (well I was) but also because I was chasing around a 4 year old and couldn't focus all my attention on the baby. Having two is wonderful but so different. I cherish my nighttime nursing sessions with Sal because it is the only time we get to spend alone. It is nice to have that special time with him.

He is doing so well. Rolling over rather quickly from back to front but not yet the opposite. His little personality is starting to come out. He did get his first cold this week. Poor little guy. He is doing much better today though. It was a short and quick one at least. His eyes are getting big like Enzo's. I love watching him change each day. I love being a mom. It totally rocks.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Mama anxiety

It is amazing what being a mother can do to ones nerves. I remember like it was yesterday having Ezno just a month after the attacks of 9/11. I knew at that time I was becoming a first time mother in a new world. One our country had not experienced before. That first year of mother hood was very hard for me. Emotionally I was a wreck. I started experiencing a lot of anxiety because of the world events. It manifested itself in me as health anxiety. I suddenly became terrified that something would happen to me and I would leave my children motherless. At the same time I developed extremely bad headaches which did nothing but fester my fears. I started therapy to help me overcome my anxiety issues. Using cognitive behavioral therapy I was able to move on and live again. Now 4 years later I feel I am slipping back. The events in Gulf Coast was one trigger. It usually just takes one thing to get my mind rolling. I then begin to thing too much about all the "what if's" in the world. Once on that track they inflate like a hot air balloon. I also have an impending flight coming up over Thanksgiving that I am getting nervous about. I know this is in the back of my mind and is helping to rebuild this wall of fear. It is a terrible way to think. I am fighting it every day. I never knew becoming a mother could be so terrifying.

Friday, September 02, 2005

new day - new skills

My little guy Sal is getting so big. His early rolling has changed to a quick flipping. As soon as he is put down on his back he flips quicker than a pancake on a hot griddle. His head is so strong now. He has it up so high and is so curious about the world around him. He is wide eyed all day long absorbing all he can.

My other guy - Enzo is going through a rough time. He is almost 4 and acting very much the part. He is struggling to find his independence but frustrated because he is still so dependant on us as well. He has learned the wonderful method of pushing our buttons and man does it work. Each day is a new challenge for us as we try to better our parenting skills.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Sal rolls!

Our sweet Salvatore rolled over for the first time today. It was amazing! He had been having tummy time every day but wasn't doing much with his head until today. John was hanging out with him in the living room and all of a sudden he held that little head up so high and strong and just looked all around the room. Next thing we knew he rolled over and we were both there to watch it. Enzo was in the tub at the time but when he got out and heard the news he just started jumping up and down and shouting. He was so proud of his little brother. It was so sweet to watch. Wow! Sal his first milestone. I can't believe it actually. Each day he smiles more and he is looking more and more like his own little person. I just love him. I just simply freakin' love that little guy.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

My Gentle Giant



Who are you?
A child I do not recognize.
Larger than life eyes
Where did you get those eye lashes?
Your hands are so big now
They look like boy hands -
No longer the little baby hands
that used to squeeze my fingers in their tiny grasp
and play wit my black rubber bracelets as you nursed.

Your toes - the first perfect pair of feet I had ever seen.
I could have kissed them forever.
Except now they look so long
and they are starting to smell like boy feet
instead of baby like and sweet.

There are other tiny hands and feet
that have taken your place.
But they are not yours
When I first saw them I thought
"These are not Enzo's hands and feet. They are not as cute. How could I love them as much?"

Now I realize that they could never be yours because they belong to Sal.
Yours will always be my first - so little and pure - soft and smooth.
Now I have Sal's to pamper and kiss.
I only hope I can help them to one day be as big and strong as yours.

I love you my gentle giant.
You will always be my baby.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Finding me


What am I doing?
I am a mama of two boys now.
Is this my life now?
Chunky spit ups -
mustard stained diapers
screams and cries of toddler angst
Am I really writing about toddler angst?
What do these kids have to pine over?

My bottom has finally stopped hurting and bleeding.
It was a glorious day when I could stop wearing the torpedo sized maxi pads. Speaking of torpedoes let me tell you about these boobs I now have. 24 hour milk store open for business – non stop supply.

This morning I had to drop my 3 ½ (not 3 as he would tell you) son at preschool. After the baby spit milk chunks all over the car as we were pulling out of the driveway, after a full clothing change and diaper change we made it to the preschool at 9:30. I was secretly looking forward to dropping him off and venturing downtown to my first mama group at Radio Bean coffee shop on Winooski Ave. He of course being 3 ½ (not 3) had other plans. He resisted, begged, pleaded, cried and pulled my leg to take him home. After being told by his teachers and the director that it was best for me to just leave I ran to my car and cried my eyes out. What a horrible mother I thought to myself. How could I just leave my child while all I craved was a cup of decaf, women who understand and a chance to feel “normal” for one hour.

None of that mattered now though as I sat in my car crying about how I had scarred my son for life. Then my cell phone rang and it was the director of the preschool calling to tell me Enzo was fine and in fact was smiling and playing minutes after I had left.

Ahh . . . the life of a 3 ½ (not 3) year old.

Normal? Who was I kidding? Going to a hip coffee shop is no longer normal. I am a mama of two boys now.

This is my new norm.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Salvatore's Birth Story



Born 5/14/2005 at 7:22 am

This pregnancy and birth ended up being quite an experience for me. I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy to start. Morning sickness for about the first three to four months. This time however I was pleased to find out I did not test positive for gestational diabetes as I had in my previous pregnancy. I was so excited. I thought I was in the clear. Then one night when I was 7 months pregnant we took an unexpected trip to the emergency room and I ended up have any emergency appendectomy by the next morning. It was by far the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. This was my 4th surgery but by far the worst. Going under while a 7 months old baby is in your belly is something I do not wish upon anyone. I really started to learn about the power of prayer that day. The surgery went well and everything turned out just fine so I guess my prayers were answered. Three months later I was back to deliver my baby. Here is the story.

I would like to start by saying that I was very nervous going into the birth of this baby. If you read the birth story of Enzo you will remember that his birth was quiet unusual. I labored for three hours and then pushed for five. I was nervous to think this experience could be shorter than the first or even perhaps longer. I think I was more nervous about the possibility of it being longer and more text book because I had never experience labor from early to end so I was not sure what to expect.

Friday May 13th – I was at this point 7 days past my estimated due date. The original due date was estimated to be May 6th. I had felt a bit more crampy throughout the day but did not think too much of it. After Enzo went to bed John and I started watching some episodes of Sex and the City we had on DVD. Around 9:00 I noticed some light contractions that seemed to be coming pretty regular so we started timing them. They did not hurt at all but our midwife had told us to keep our eye on everything and call her when things seemed to be coming every 10 minutes because of how quickly I went last time. So we timed these for about an hour and a half and then decided to give her a call. She told us to come in just to get checked out again just because of how fast my last labor was. So we called our friend Nikki to come over and stay with Enzo as we headed to the hospital.

I was not in any pain as we entered the hospital around midnight. The contractions were still coming on at a regular pace but there was no pain. They hooked me up to the monitor for a while to confirm the contractions. The midwife came in to check me but could not find my cervix. She felt that perhaps I was not actually in labor just maybe very early labor. She had us walk the halls a few times and since nothing progressed she sent us home. I was a bit apprehensive about going home. Mostly because this midwife was the only one in the entire group we had not met before so she knew of our history from what we told her that night but I am not quite sure she took us seriously. As we walked out the door I felt we would be back shortly.

We got home about 2:30 and went to bed at 3:00am. An hour later I had to get up because the contractions were now incredibly strong and I could no longer sleep through them. I got up and wandered around the house and at 4:30 decided to get into the tub. I woke John up and told him he had to come downstairs and start timing these because I thought this was it. The water felt so good and allowed me to get through the contractions that were instantly coming every 2-3 minutes. I had to really focus and look into John’s eyes to get through each one. About a half hour later I felt my water break and John called the midwife back. She left it up to me to decide if I felt like it was time. “Oh yes we are coming in” I said. We called Nikki back over and got ready to go. These contractions felt so different than my first labor. My first was all back labor. As excruciating as it was it was very different than what I was feeling this time. This time it was focused more in my uterus and was such a different kind of pain it really took my breath away. John and Nikki waited for me to get out of the bathroom but the contractions were coming on so fast I barely had time to move before another one hit. Finally we made it into the car and on our way back to the hospital at 5:00am – 2 hours after we had left.

This time I did not walk into the maternity ward smiling announcing I was about to have a baby as I had two hours before. This time I had to be wheeled in and I was definitely not smiling. They got me into my room and on the bed somehow. At about 5:30am the midwife checked me and I was 6-7 centimeters dilated. I was amazed (but I guess kind of expected it) that again I went so quickly. About 3 or 4 contractions later I was fully dilated. Some will say that I am lucky to have such short labors but I will tell you now shorter is not always easier. My body pretty much goes through the first stage of labor without me noticing. I think I felt it a bit more than with Enzo because I knew what to expect this time. Regardless, I just tend to hit it at the very end. When I got to the hospital I was praying that I would be this far along because I honestly could not imagine going hours in the amount of pain I was having. I doubted myself that I could get through this birth naturally. Luckily when they checked me I was 6-7 centimeters dilated already. I asked them to fill up the tub because it had helped me so much when I was at home. I figured well I still have a few to get through until I am complete and laboring on the bed was simply not working for me. I was a grabber this time. With each contraction I grabbed John has hard as I could until it let up. These contractions were hitting me so fast and so strong I felt out of control. As the midwife was running the tub the nurse called out to her to come check me again because I was starting to push. Low and behold just a few contractions after she had checked me the first time I was not completely dilated. I went from 6-7 centimeters to fully dilate in about 15/20 minutes. At 6:00am I started pushing.

I never made it to the tub. I started pushing instead. I don’t know what it is but pushing for me is not as easy and refreshing as it is for others. I have a hard time with it. So the position dance began. They first had me in a side laying position that just simply was not comfortable. My back again was in a lot of pain as I tried to push and lying down was not helping. They got out the squat bar and got me upright. This position for was effective for me so I pushed like this for a while until I became very tired. They then turned me around with the back of the bed upright and I leaned against the bed as I pushed. Again this ended up being effective for a while. Finally I moved into a sitting position grabbing my legs with each push. I was making good progress. The baby was nearing the pelvic bone. I took each phase in stride. My first goal was to get the baby under the bone. I worked very hard and finally this goal was accomplished. I knew once under the bone the next major task was to get the head out. For the first time I could feel the baby moving down as I pushed. When I birthed Enzo because I had the back labor so bad I could not feel anything accept the pain in my back. With this birth I felt this baby move inch by inch and it was so empowering.

I felt the head getting closer and closer and it just made me more determined than ever. I wanted this to be over, I wanted to meet my baby. I gave it my all and got that baby’s head down and out. It was the craziest sensation I have ever experienced. I felt his head crowning and the burning sensation that everyone talks about is so real. I thought I was going to catch on fire. His head was born and I was so relieved. The work was not over yet but to me the hardest part was done. Each shoulder then slid out with each push and soon his entire body emerged from mine. At 7:22am on Saturday May 14th baby boy boone #2 was born. “It is a boy” John said and I looked down to see the most amazing little creature all warm and wild and bright eyed from his journey.

The took him immediately to the warmer because he had slight meconium. Once he was checked out they brought him right back before even weighing him. He was placed on my chest and he immediately started nursing. It was beautiful. He looked just like Enzo did when he was born. It was so crazy to see another little bean that we had created. Unfortunately I was having bad after pain contractions and the placenta was not coming out. The pains actually got so bad that I had to pass Sal to John. They ended up giving me a shot of pitocin to try and get the placenta out. I was crying and felt so sad because all I wanted to do was hold and love my baby and be done with the pain of labor and here it was continuing even after the baby had been born. The placenta finally came out but the pains did not stop. They were better though enough that I took the baby back, nursed him and loved him with every ounce I had.

Once again I had a crazy short, intense and powerful birth. I am amazed with what my body can do and I am proud to have done it naturally again. Birth is a moment in time that like with all other special occasions in your life comes and goes so quickly. Although it is the hardest most painful thing you will ever experience it is also the most personal and rewarding. No one else owns your birth experience but you. I already find myself feeling nostalgic for it.

Salvatore John Crosby Boone was born at Fletcher Allen Hospital in Burlington Vermont on Saturday May 14th at 7:22am after about 2 hours of active labor and 1 1/2 hours of pushing. 100% all natural birth. He weighed 9 lbs, 4 oz and was 21 inches long. Again my midwife was amazing and John was a superhero. He is a natural birth assistant.