Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Sal rolls!

Our sweet Salvatore rolled over for the first time today. It was amazing! He had been having tummy time every day but wasn't doing much with his head until today. John was hanging out with him in the living room and all of a sudden he held that little head up so high and strong and just looked all around the room. Next thing we knew he rolled over and we were both there to watch it. Enzo was in the tub at the time but when he got out and heard the news he just started jumping up and down and shouting. He was so proud of his little brother. It was so sweet to watch. Wow! Sal his first milestone. I can't believe it actually. Each day he smiles more and he is looking more and more like his own little person. I just love him. I just simply freakin' love that little guy.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

My Gentle Giant

Who are you?
A child I do not recognize.
Larger than life eyes
Where did you get those eye lashes?
Your hands are so big now
They look like boy hands -
No longer the little baby hands
that used to squeeze my fingers in their tiny grasp
and play wit my black rubber bracelets as you nursed.

Your toes - the first perfect pair of feet I had ever seen.
I could have kissed them forever.
Except now they look so long
and they are starting to smell like boy feet
instead of baby like and sweet.

There are other tiny hands and feet
that have taken your place.
But they are not yours
When I first saw them I thought
"These are not Enzo's hands and feet. They are not as cute. How could I love them as much?"

Now I realize that they could never be yours because they belong to Sal.
Yours will always be my first - so little and pure - soft and smooth.
Now I have Sal's to pamper and kiss.
I only hope I can help them to one day be as big and strong as yours.

I love you my gentle giant.
You will always be my baby.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Finding me

What am I doing?
I am a mama of two boys now.
Is this my life now?
Chunky spit ups -
mustard stained diapers
screams and cries of toddler angst
Am I really writing about toddler angst?
What do these kids have to pine over?

My bottom has finally stopped hurting and bleeding.
It was a glorious day when I could stop wearing the torpedo sized maxi pads. Speaking of torpedoes let me tell you about these boobs I now have. 24 hour milk store open for business – non stop supply.

This morning I had to drop my 3 ½ (not 3 as he would tell you) son at preschool. After the baby spit milk chunks all over the car as we were pulling out of the driveway, after a full clothing change and diaper change we made it to the preschool at 9:30. I was secretly looking forward to dropping him off and venturing downtown to my first mama group at Radio Bean coffee shop on Winooski Ave. He of course being 3 ½ (not 3) had other plans. He resisted, begged, pleaded, cried and pulled my leg to take him home. After being told by his teachers and the director that it was best for me to just leave I ran to my car and cried my eyes out. What a horrible mother I thought to myself. How could I just leave my child while all I craved was a cup of decaf, women who understand and a chance to feel “normal” for one hour.

None of that mattered now though as I sat in my car crying about how I had scarred my son for life. Then my cell phone rang and it was the director of the preschool calling to tell me Enzo was fine and in fact was smiling and playing minutes after I had left.

Ahh . . . the life of a 3 ½ (not 3) year old.

Normal? Who was I kidding? Going to a hip coffee shop is no longer normal. I am a mama of two boys now.

This is my new norm.