Tuesday, October 30, 2007
I have been a bad blogger. My life went from what I thought was crazy to absolute insanity. I took on a 2 month contract job that I am doing from home 20 hours a week while still having my youngest kid home with me. Within the first three days I had regrets. Many old feelings of stress and anxiety came back to me (it was a job I previously had) and I found myself unable to juggle my life. All the reasons for why I quit working in the first place hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized I got myself in over my head. I have since hired someone to help me out in the mornings with my little guy so that has helped a lot. It will enable me to get through this 2 month deal but after that I am done. Even though I only have to do 4 hours each day, because I have to spread that out between school drop off, lunch, naps, school pick up, dinner, and managing my family I end up feeling like I am working all day because it takes from morning to night to get the full 4 hours in. I am stretched beyond belief. I feel like my head cannot be where it needs to be which is on my family. So all in all I guess I learned a good lesson. I am just not ready. I am not ready to go back to the rat race. The extra money is nice right now of course but it is so not worth the strain on my family, myself and my sanity. We have managed without it and we can do it again.