Thursday, November 23, 2006

Arrivederci



Saying goodbye is never easy for me. Last weekend I traveled alone to my family home to help pack it up and say goodbye. With my video camera in hand I walked through the house and yard telling stories of my childhood memories while fighting back without much success many tears. I also left a note on my old bedroom wall for the new owners. The new owners are in their mid thirties and have a young daughter. I also found out the mother will be starting a balloon business in my fathers old shop. The thought of this young family moving in and starting to create their own memories made me feel a tad bit better.

I made it through a very tough weekend. It was nice to come back home to my boys eagerly awaiting my arrival. We enjoyed a nice quite Thanksgiving together. I learned that my memories will always be with me regardless of where my parents are living.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Despite having to let go of so much this week I have an awful lot to be thankful for - and I am.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Going Home

I will be heading to my parents house this weekend to help them pack. I will be bringing my camera and my video camera with me. I plan on walking through the house and yard documenting as much of it as I can. This will be the last time I have access to the house.

My emotions are a wreck. My levels of stress and anxiety have been high this week. The stress of the moving logistics, the anxiety of saying goodbye to my house and most of all the double anxiety of leaving my family here for the first time ever.

The only time I left Enzo was when I was hospitalized for a week while pregnant with Sal. Sal is 18 months now but I have not left him yet. I am so sad to leave them. I know JB will be fine (especially because his mother will be here) but I just don't like the thought of not hugging them each night. I know this trip will be good for me in so many ways. I will be staying with a friend of mine at night so I will have a chance to unwind a bit and have some girl time.

Wish me safe travels and strength so I can get through this weekend.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Woman kicked off Burlington Flight for Breastfeeding

Read the story here.

I hope Freedom Airlines (Delta) gets blasted for this one.

When will the American culture change? It is acceptable for the female body to be exposed as long as it is for the pleasure of a man. If a boob is seen as anything else the people suddenly feel offended as the stewardess of this airline said. Offended because someone won't cover up their babies head while nursing? Aren't there more offensive things to get in a tizzy about? Pornography, Hooters, strip clubs, excessive violence against women, global warming, the war in Iraq, President Bush, gun control - I mean come on now.

I have had enough.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Holding on




This is old picture of Elm Street. Back when Elm trees lined the street. Before pavment, before traffic. The house on the left is the house my mother grew up in. The house I grew up in in two house down from it. My grandparent owned all three houses on the left until my parents bought one from them. My grandfather (Salvatore) died when I was in highschool. When my grandmother died three years ago the other two houses were sold. My house was the last one. Two more weeks and it will be gone. Another family is waiting to move in and start their own memories. I don't know if they have children or not. I like to think they do. Perhaps 30 years from now their children will be looking at pictures of this old street - reliving their own memories, holding on to their past with a tear in their eye.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

goodbye sweet elm





Sorry I have been away so long. I left my job as a project manager one year ago and here I find myself managing the most stressful and emotional project of my life.

I have posted a few times over the past few months about how my parents have our family home up for sale. It is the house I grew up in and it is on a street called Elm street where for the past 60 years my family members have lived. Our house, this generation is the last to occupy this old street where Elm trees once lined the sidewalks on either side of the street.

After being on the market for almost a year they received an offer last week. This is good for many reasons. The house is now too big for them to take care of. My father is not working anymore so it is also a strain on them financially. The crazy part to all of this is they have to be out in three weeks. Now we are talking about two people who have lived in this house for I will guess close to 34 years. Even after my sister and I moved out our old rooms and closets are still filled with our stuff we chose not to take with us when we move out. Luckily I went down in May and cleaned out most of what I had left there.

So being the farthest away I have been given the job of project manager (fitting). It is good because it makes me feel like I am doing something to help since I can't be there physically every day. I am going down for one weekend to help empty the house out before the movers come. With all the craziness of phone calls and planning I have not really had time to digest that my house is selling. Next weekend when I go down it will be the last time I ever see it. I can't go down again for the closing.

In so many ways I know I am lucky. Most everyone I know lost their family home long ago or some never even knew one. I know I am lucky but it still makes it hard. I am a very sentimental person. I even debated buying it so many times. It came at the wrong time because I just bought my house a year ago. Also, I wonder if I would have been buying it for the wrong reasons. I always swore I would never move back to that town. It is amazing how things change. They will be moving in with my sister in another town for now, until we find them a place to go. There is a good chance they will not be moving back to Milford. This means saying goodbye to a whole lot more than just my house. Saying goodbye to a town my great great grandparents from Italy chose to come to at the ripe age of 18.

So I will bid a farewell to the three generations of my family living on Elm Street. Goodbye sweet house, goodbye backyard, goodbye to all the secret forts we built, fairies I played with, trees I climbed, hills I sledded on. It was more than shelter. It was a place filled with love and adventures, family gatherings, fights, celebrations and grief. A place of first loves, breakups and friendship.

farewell.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006