Friday, January 23, 2009

Playdates make me scream

I can't stand the term playdate. It really bugs me. I don't know what it is about that word but it makes me cringe. A playdate is a scheduled time of supervised play arranged at someone's house, the park or other family friendly place. It's not that I don't want my kid socializing with others it's just that it all feels so forced. I was introduced to the world of playdates once my oldest child started Kindergarten last year. Before that he just hung out with any kid that my friends happened to have. Once we hit Kindergarten the rules change and playdates begin.

I have been lucky so far that the friends he has made and wanted to hook up with outside of school we have approved of. The families are great and the kids are great so it has worked out well for us. He is in 1st grade now so we have a little bit of experience with play dates under our belts now. The problem is I suck at them.

I am not good at inviting kids to my house. I know it and I was reminded of it yesterday when I received an email from a mom who basically asked me if her child could ever be invited to our house since they have had my son so many times. At first I was taken aback by her honesty but she is right. I am totally behind in keeping up with my end of the play date circle. I owe a few people some dates at my house.

I can't really explain it and I know I will be better about it during the summer months but right now it is just hard for me. We are not an over scheduled family. We don't play organized sports. I like the kids to come home after school, do their homework and chill. Perhaps it is the way I was raised. My sister is the complete opposite though. Her family never stops. School days, weekends, whenever, those kids are maxed out with sports. They are always coming and going and just hearing about makes me not be able to breath. Every family is different though and you have to do what works for you. It works for them, but it could never work for me.

I am sorry to anyone who might feel our playdate circle has been uneven. I promise to try harder.


Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel any better, I really suck at hosting playdates too. Just another thing we have in common. :) Miss you and hope you are well! We need to chat soon. Your friend on the Cape

ajcarman72 said...

We have gravitated to more like your sister and are fighting to get back to the other side - at least just a little. We need more balance, time where the kids can wander the house, announce their boredom and actually find something to do on their own. We refuse playdates and the like during the week and have started limiting them to one per weekend. The kids have swimming every Saturday morning and as a family we enjoy that. But as other things pop up (soccer in the spring for Leif) we will have to make decisions and cut something. Excellent topic and I am going to steal it for my Herald blog.

rockergirrl said...

yeah it's tough. sometimes I think we don't push the kids to do enough but other times I am happy with how we have done it. Just the fact that enzo is in public school now fills up our calendar enough with normal stuff that goes on. add on top the homework and I can't imagine having him do anything else after school. i do plan on getting him involved in some stuff this summer though. I think finding that right balance is key.