Enzo turned 4 today. 4 years old! I can't believe it has been 4 years since I gave birth to him. We decorated the kitchen last night after he went to bed so when he woke up this morning he would have a surprise. He loved it! He opened up a few small presents and then I dropped him off at preschool for the morning. We ordered pizza for dinner and had cake and ice cream after opening the rest of his presents. It was a nice day but it went by too fast. I find myself getting so emotional now on his birthdays. Trying so hard to make them perfect so he will have wonderful memories of them. It is crazy how as parents we try to recreate our own childhoods for our kids. I worry too much.
I am so proud of that kid. He is doing so well and instead of being happy I feel so sad tonight. Sad that he is 4, sad that time is going by so fast, sad that he is no longer a baby, sad that I can't hold him for more than a second before he runs off to do something else, sad that I can't just enjoy this day. What is wrong with me? No one told me how having children would turn me into an emotional puddle.
It really was a very nice birthday. It is just because there is such a build up to his birthday this year. It was the first one he was really into. You spend so much time planning and wanting everything to be perfect so they enjoy their day. Then the day comes and goes and I am left feeling empty. We are having a big party on Saturday with our family and some of his preschool friends. I hope the rain will hold off so I don't have to fit all the people in my tiny house.
Happy birthday Enzo! I hope you enjoyed your day.
You are the light of my life.