Tuesday, April 03, 2007

How things change (sort of)

The following was written in September of 2002. I wrote it as what was meant to be the intro to a zine I was going to start called Mamaspeak. I was 5 years younger, only 11 months into being a mom with just one kid and working full time. Well the paper zine never came about but obviously it sparked me to start this blog a few years later.

So here it is - the intro to the zine that never happened:

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MamaSpeak
Wondering who you are now has never been so confusing.
Come find out with us.
Read, laugh, cry, sigh, and submit.
Be You.

This is my welcome letter. Welcome to my world. I am sure it is not much different than yours however somehow we all usually feel so alone. I’ll get right to my stats. I am 29, married for 2 years, miscarried our first child 10/6/99 gave birth to our second 10/6/2002. Ironic? Yes, but I will leave those details for an article. Our son’s name is Enzo and he will be 11 months in a few weeks. Enzo has started walking. It is so cool. He has been trying for so long and getting really frustrated so now there is this sense of freedom and calm in our house, which has not existed for the past month. He looks like a little boy now. He is growing up so fast.

Why am I opening up my stories and thoughts for all to read? Mainly because I am sick of feeling like I am the only parent in the world. I know there are others are there, aren't there? Hello? The only way to meet other parents around here is to be a stay at home mom so you can attend the events that typically are only held during the work day. That sucks. I would love to attend a baby group, but I guess these organization think are only catering to the non-working moms. This brings up my employment status I guess. I am working full time out side of the home. Do I like it? Hell no. I would love to stay home and attend every baby group that exists in Northern VT, but at this time I am afraid to say this is not a possibility. Do I feel guilty about it? Sure I do. I hate the fact that someone else is raising my kids, I hate the fact that I can’t seem to find the magic solution in my budget that will allow me to stay home. My kid is great though and he is getting great care so I can’t complain too much.

It basically comes down to this. I am a Mom. I like music, poetry, pretending I can write songs, sewing, crafts, and most of all my family. I have not and will not let go of my creativity or individuality. I prefer alternatives to the normal baby raising ways. I am open minded and always ready to talk. I wanted to create a forum for other Mama’s to voice their ideas and thoughts and to read those of others as well. I know while I was pregnant and even now, reading first hand stories from women is one the important tools I had in preparing for birth and now surviving motherhood.

So here it is – Mama Speak. Welcome.

-originally written 9/02
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