Saturday, March 13, 2010

germs, guilt, work

Being sick sucks. Missing work sucks even more. One of the best things about my 4 years as a stay at home mom was not having to worry about call out of work when they kids got sick, I got sick, or for the numerous vacations and days off from their school. Now that I am back to work full time I am remembering this dreaded, awful part about working. Perception. Perception at any job is key. Regardless of how open companies claim to be they still live by the old perception rule. I am lucky that my husband and I both have jobs that can easily be done from home. This makes it better because we can take turns taking "work from home days" when kid illnesses or days off come up. Sometimes though they hit all at once and the timing doesn't work so well. Take this past week for instance. My littlest was way too sick to go to preschool, but my husband couldn't get out of some meetings he had so I worked from home for two days. By the end of the week though I had picked up on the germs and found myself going into the office on Friday (something I used to swear I would never do when I was sick) all because of perception. Because I had been out of the office (even though I was working from home) for two days I felt like I had to suck it up. Suck it up I couldn't, so they sent me home.

It is so difficult being a working parent. I love my job and I love working, but this full time both parents out of the house situation is very difficult. So here I sit, or rather lay - in my bed on a Saturday afternoon. A bowl of acorn squash soup by my bed, computer snug up with me in bed, trying to heal. I already missed out on my husband's birthday which was last night, had to cancel tonight's birthday plans, and will most likely be in bed early again tonight. I feel so guilty. Why? I got sick. I didn't mean to. I certainly would never plan this, but as mothers I think guilt just lives inside of us like a parasite that has leached on to our souls.


Nuclear Mom said...

I could have written this post. Seriously. Not because we were sick - actually Skadi was off one afternoon for a little under the weather. And I do hope you are feeling better.

But yes, you are right. We know we should stay home. But when the sick time starts dwindling, and people start looking at you sideways (or at least you think they are looking at you sideways), you suck it up. Yep. I get it.

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