Friday, March 28, 2008

Letting something go.

The other day while at the gym I was watching Rachel Ray (it was just on ok) and she had on a mom of two kids who told her story of racing off in the morning to drop off her oldest child at school, race home with her 10 month child, proceed to work her part time at home job, take care of the younger child, pick up the older one later in the day, do dinner, bedtime, and then proceed to study for the online classes she is taking to complete her degree. She was frazzled and didn't know what to do. I started crying on treadmill because I could have been looking at myself on that screen. I just wanted to shout out "That's me!"

I am burned out.
Last fall I took a web project management consulting job for two months at the company I used to work for. It was a struggle trying to juggle it all and I decided I would never do it again. When they asked me a few months ago if I would be interested in another project I had to give it another try. The extra money is of course a major incentive but so is keeping a connection with the company. The project was a very interesting challenge for me so I decided to take it. I have been working 15 hours a week managing the project from home since Feb. The process has been so much smoother this time. I learned how to better juggle my time and to really stick to the three hours a day I am supposed to work. It is hard to let those three hours become your entire day. It is hard to juggle it on top of my other responsibilities of mother, home maker and small business owner. You know what though? I am loving it.

But like the mother I saw on Rachel Ray I am getting a bit frazzled. The advice she was given was that something had to go. I have been thinking about this myself the past month. As much as I love the small business I am running I can't afford to work as much as the small business requires for free anymore. I can make a very good living if I continue with this consulting work and I can continue to be home with my children as well. I only have a certain amount of hours in my day and I have to pick and choose how I use them. I am not going to give up my small business of jewelry and books but I am also not going to expect it to become my main income and because of this I need to let go somewhat.

If I can keep the consulting work going I am hoping once my youngest is in preschool this fall I will have more flexibility and be able to go into the office from time to time until the school day is over. It is the best situation for me. So although nothing is really changing on the outside with my jewelry/book business, I am making major internal changes and boy does it feel good. Learning to let go and re prioritize things in your life whether it is work, school or activities can be such a refreshing and rewarding experience.

1 comment:

Nuclear Mom said...

Excellent post. It is so hard not to do/be everything. And to keep it all in perspective of what is really important.

I loved your comment the other day on my post about being creative and saving some for later.