I've Moved!

This blog started in 2001 (became active in 2005) and has evolved over the years as my children have grown and I have evolved as a mother, wife, daughter and friend.  It's time for a fresh start.  I have exported all posts and started a new blog where I will continue my journey at Purple Elm.  Join me!

Handmade Holidays

The holidays make me think of being home and celebrating the day to day blessings I have with my family.  Like many families we are quite busy and I often feel like I'm not honoring the moments I have with them as much as I should.  I miss being home with them more so I have been trying harder to create special memories with them when I am home.  The holiday season brings up this desire even more.  So this year when it came time to think about giving something special to the wonderful teachers in our lives I decided it was time to get my hands dirty again and get crafting.  

 We decided to make peppermint bark this year.  This is a very simple project and there are lots of great recipes online for it.  We chose one that combined both dark and white chocolate.  I bought all the ingredients on my lunch break the other day along with some jelly jars to package the pieces up in.

 It all starts with good chocolate.  Personally I buy Ghiradelli for my cooking and the bags of chips happened to be on sale and so it was a better bargain than buying the bars.  I just placed a bowl of chips over a pot of boiling water (1 Bag) until the chips melted.  Once melted I added a teaspoon of peppermint extract and poured half of it into a small brownie pan lined with tin foil and the other half in a second pan also lined with tin foil.  Plop that in the fridge or freezer for about 20 minutes and wait.  Once hardened you can take it out, and after melting the white chocolate you can then pour the white over the dark, sprinkle on crushed candy canes and place back in freezer.

Once the chocolate is hard you can take it out, peel off the tin foil and chop it up or break it into pieces.

I chose to put our bark into jelly jars and tied some ribbon around them.  

It's easy, fun, tastes great and makes a wonderful handmade gift.

Yum.

I hope the teachers enjoy it.

Vegan Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

My kids have been begging me to make peanut butter cookies so we found a recipe, altered it a bit and made these this weekend.  They came out great.  Soft and moist, not hard and crumbly.  I cut back the sugar and chocolate chips from the original recipe because I like to be able to enjoy a few cookies without feeling like I'm on sugar overload.  I thought the original had an overwhelming amount of chocolate chips.  Plus I think they just taste better this way.  I decided to go with a vegan recipe because I could not stomach the amount of butter needed for the non-vegan recipes.  These are just as tasty and a little healthier for you.

This is my altered version.  I already cut down the sugar and chocolate chips below.

• 2/3 cup + 2 tablespoons crunchy peanut butter
• 4 tablespoons safflower oil
• 1 1/2 cups light brown sugar
• 2/3 cup soymilk ( regular or vanilla flavored)
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups rolled oats
• 1/2 - 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 
  

  Directions:

  
  

  1. 1
     Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
  2. 2
     In a large mixing bowl, stir together first five ingredients.
  3. 3
     In a small bowl, thoroughly stir together flour, soda and salt.
  4. 4
     Stir into batter.
  5. 5
     Stir in oats and chocolate chips.
  6. 6
     Drop batter by rounded tablespoonfuls onto parchment lined baking sheet, or oil the baking sheet.
  7. 7
     Bake for 10 minutes or until set.
  8. 8
     Remove sheet from oven and let cool on tray for 5 minutes.
  
  

Finding Me Continued

So a year ago, after 10 years going by my married name I changed it.  At the time I had strong reasons for doings so.  My decision was to drop my married name, take back my maiden name, and add my mother's maiden name to it.  All of a sudden I had a new hyphenated last name that was different than my husband and children.  My reasons were good at the time.  Since I was little I always felt bitter that because my mother decided to take my father's name I wasn't given the opportunity to have her maiden name.  I thought it was wrong.  I never thought when I got married that I would change my name, but when the day came I did and I lived with it for 10 years.  At for our 10 year wedding anniversary I told my husband I was changing my name.  He wasn't surprised at all because he has heard me talking about this for years.  He was supportive so I made the change.

Rewind one year and I started to have doubts about my decision which surprised me.  For one I had no idea how much it would bother me to not have the same last name as my children.  I also didn't realize how difficult having a hyphenated name would be.  I know there are plenty of people who have hyphenated names and different last names than their kids, but this is a personal thing so I'll go on.  As much as I always wanted my mother's maiden name I had to admit that it felt a bit strange now owning it.  It was never really mine (which I always hated), but the fact was it felt almost more strange as when I first got married and took on my husbands name originally.  So $130 later and another trip to probate court I changed my name again.  This time I added my maiden name as my second middle name and took back my married name.  So now even though I have two middle names I'll be going by First name, 2nd Middle name (maiden name) and then Married name as my last name.  Think Hillary Rodham Clinton and hopefully it won't be so confusing.

I feel a bit sad letting go of my mother's name and I wish she had given it to me originally as my middle name  but she didn't.  I could have kept it, but this just felt right.  Now I can go by both maiden and married names or just make it simple and use my married last name. My sister put it best when she said "Mom's maiden name is your heritage and always will be, your maiden name is what you grew up with and was known as until you got married, your married now is your present and future."  For me this seems like the best compromise.  I had no idea I would be struggling with keeping my identity 11 years into my marriage.  We all grow, we all peel back new layers of ourselves and we all must find out own way to shine.

Goodness it's tough being an indecisive girl.

Remembering me

I have lost myself.  I know I'm around somewhere, but I can't seem to find the girl I once knew.  Time is moving so quickly and I just want to hit the pause button for a moment and figure things out.  My kids are growing, my parents are aging, and I'm somewhere in between.  Riding the waves of this busy thing called life.  Having kids changed me, but honestly I was one who in the early years of having my children stayed pretty much the same.  My kids became the most important thing of course, but I always found the time to stay true to myself and enjoy my own activities and interests.  I want to finish things I started years ago.  I want to start writing poetry again.  I want to revive my love or photography.

When I first started this blog a long, long time ago this was the About Me section:

I am creative, strong, weak and driven.  I want to dream, weep, write, scream, and play lost songs to searching souls.  I want to raise my sons to be anything but the ordinary.  I am a seeker, a dreamer, a dancer in the darkness.

I need to believe in this again.  I need to dig deep and remember the girl who's soul screamed loud and proud.  I will find her.  Oh I will find her.

Robot Tea Infuser

I love tea.  I love it loose, I love it fresh.  I couldn't help myself when I found this robot tea infuser.  I had to buy him.  Love.

Closing up my craft shop

Sadly I have decided to end my small crafting business Subsixstudios. I started my small business when I became a stay at home mom in 2005. At the time it provided me with a creative outlet and kept my mind in the business game as I kept up my skills in sales and built new skills in digital marketing. The reality is now I work full time outside of the home and I am struggling to keep up with it all. I will however continue to support the indie craft movement by pushing forward with Queen City Craft and the bazaar that I produce twice a year. The next show is on June 4th and it will be the first time in 5 years I haven't sold my own creations at the show. I am sad about this but I am excited to be there solely as the organizer where I can fully support the other artists and not have to worry about selling as well.

I will continue to make some items for myself and friends and perhaps I will spring back at some point under a new name. For now though it will be put on hold.

Thanks for all the support over the years!

xoxo

Slow Saturday

Today was perfect.  The weather was warm and we had a date to visit with some friends in the "country" who we haven't seen in way too long.  We met at their house for lunch and it was delightful.  Warm air, embellished grilled cheese sandwiches, mimosas, chicken chasing, and good conversation made up our afternoon.  I had filled the crock pot with butternut squash apple soup before we left so the afternoon was dinner prep stress free.  On our way back to the "city" we stopped at Cookie Love and treated ourselves to a late afternoon snack.  We came home and enjoyed some family Rock Band time and devoured the soup with some crackers and good cheese.  It was nice to step away from the usual chore filled Saturday and enjoy some time with good friends.

I'm here. I'm really here.

I started this blog in 2001 and at one point it was my lifeline.  I felt alone as a mother for the longest time.  This blog helped me through my years of being a working mother and a stay at home mother.  Last year after being home full time for 4 years I went back to work full time and it all became too much.  Between being a mom, working full time outside of the home and running my own indie craft business I just couldn't keep up.  Before Facebook and all the other social media sites this blog was my lifeline to the outside world.  Facebook changed all that and blogging took a back seat.  I want to change that.  I am attempting to enter back into the blogging world.  I hope you will come back and join me for the ride.

Sicilian Orange and Fennel Salad

This recipe comes from one of my new favorite cookbooks called Sicilian Feasts. I have always been in love with Sicilian culture since it is where my mother's family is from. I received this cookbook last year as a gift and it has quickly become one of my favorites. What I love about Sicilian cooking is that it is simple and flavorful. I made this dish for the first time tonight and it made my taste buds jump for joy. The entire family loved it.

Ingredients:

2 oranges
1 fennel bulb
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice

Directions:

Peel the oranges, and cut them into a bowl in chunks. Remove the feathery leaves from the fennel bulb and reserve for soup. Cut the fennel bulb into quarters and slice thinly through the core so that the bulb remains attached. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and mix well. Drizzle with olive oil and mix again. Add the lemon juice and mix for the last time before transferring to a serving platter.

enjoy!

germs, guilt, work

Being sick sucks. Missing work sucks even more. One of the best things about my 4 years as a stay at home mom was not having to worry about call out of work when they kids got sick, I got sick, or for the numerous vacations and days off from their school. Now that I am back to work full time I am remembering this dreaded, awful part about working. Perception. Perception at any job is key. Regardless of how open companies claim to be they still live by the old perception rule. I am lucky that my husband and I both have jobs that can easily be done from home. This makes it better because we can take turns taking "work from home days" when kid illnesses or days off come up. Sometimes though they hit all at once and the timing doesn't work so well. Take this past week for instance. My littlest was way too sick to go to preschool, but my husband couldn't get out of some meetings he had so I worked from home for two days. By the end of the week though I had picked up on the germs and found myself going into the office on Friday (something I used to swear I would never do when I was sick) all because of perception. Because I had been out of the office (even though I was working from home) for two days I felt like I had to suck it up. Suck it up I couldn't, so they sent me home.

It is so difficult being a working parent. I love my job and I love working, but this full time both parents out of the house situation is very difficult. So here I sit, or rather lay - in my bed on a Saturday afternoon. A bowl of acorn squash soup by my bed, computer snug up with me in bed, trying to heal. I already missed out on my husband's birthday which was last night, had to cancel tonight's birthday plans, and will most likely be in bed early again tonight. I feel so guilty. Why? I got sick. I didn't mean to. I certainly would never plan this, but as mothers I think guilt just lives inside of us like a parasite that has leached on to our souls.

hello again

Where have I been?
Where have I gone?
I've been changing
and growing
and living
and learning
Crying and sighing
stressing and doing.

My life has changed
so much
in the past few months
I wouldn't even know where to start.

I thought about
staying away.
I thought about
hiding
but then I decided
to try.

This isn't the first
time I have gone through
a transformation.
A girl
became a mom.
A mom became
an employee.

I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend.
I work full time now while trying to keep my life at home in order.
I have put my creative endeavors on the back burner for now.
I am trying to work it all into an already over booked day.

I struggle
I cry
I succeed
I fail.

But I keep trying.

This blog has seen me through many changes in my life.
I need it again.

I'm coming back soon . . .

Because of my new status of full time working mom, my craft has recently taken a back seat. I had already decided when I took the job that I would not be participating in the Art Hop. Then I met Lorraine Reynolds who is a co-worker at Burton. She was heading up the employee show at Burton for the Art hop this year and told me there was still space in the show if I wanted to join.

Life has thrown me a curve ball and I have found myself back to work in the real world. I recently took a job as an eCommerce analyst which means I am once again a working mama. I have been home with my kids full time for the past 4 years. It has been wonderful and I have loved every minute of it but it was time for many reasons for me to go back to work outside of the home.

I have been avoiding my blog because it was a way for me to not deal with the big question hanging over my head. What will become of my craft business? I am currently still producing and plan on continuing but at a different pace. I look forward to the challenge or working outside the home and running my little business. The key to keeping it going is to finally decide what has been working and not working for me. I plan on sticking with earrings and fiber arts. I have had a great summer selling my wash cloths at the Burlington farmers market through the wonderful Missy Bly of Clean City Soap. She created a super cute display incorporating my wash cloths with her handmade soaps. My new fiber necklaces and scarves are selling well at Trinket on Church St in Burlington and the response from people has been great so I plan on keeping those going also.

I am excited to announce that I will have work from my fiber arts collection on display at the Art Hop this year as a part of the Burton employee show. Kick off the Art Hop this Friday 9/11 at the Burton reception from 5-8pm. Food, drink, music, and lots of art. Read more about the event here.

Blueberries

I picked a lot of blueberries today. I had my two kids with me but they ate more than they picked. I love freezing blueberries and having them for the winter. I did this last year and I had enough frozen berries to last me through March.

Weekend upate

I am back from a wild weekend away by myself. This was only the second time I have ever left my family since becoming a mom almost 8 years ago. It was a much needed break. Two nights of reconnecting with lost friends. Some I haven't seen in 15 years. As much as I missed my family it was wonderful to be on my own for three days. No kids to watch, no butts to wipe, no one to feed but myself. I missed them madly but it was worth it. The trip also made me miss home a lot. A place I couldn't wait to get away from when I was younger, a place I now find myself wanting to be in again. My life seems to sometimes be one of always living in the past and future. Never the present.

This weekend was all about living in the moment, enjoying, reconnecting, remembering, wondering, reliving, and just plain being.

Let there be lettuce

Let there be lettuce
Originally uploaded by subsixstudios

I harvested lettuce from my garden yesterday. I love lettuce. I wait all winter for fresh grown. There is nothing like it.

Every summer I wait for the famous Claussen's All-You-Can-Carry Cart Load Sale. Basically it's $25 for all you can carry or $50 for a cartload. The carts are two levels and you are allowed to pile them as much as you can. I have been going to this sale for three years now and I have it down to a science. I was on a mission for tall grasses so I had to be ok with giving up a lot of space in order to fit the 8 pots of tall grasses I loaded on my cart. That's ok thought because I also managed to get about 10 pots of periwinkle, two large pots of impatients, and about 4 flats of various annuals I picked out. Overall I think I easily scored hundreds of dollars worth of plants for $50.

I wait all year for this sale. This year due to budget constraints I didn't spend a dime on gardening in the spring. I am lucky to have a May birthday and even luckier to usually get gift cards to Gardener Supply which allows me to get the early spring gardening needs that I have. This usually includes compost, mulch and seeds. Instead of buying all my spring flowers I grow them. I started seeds indoors this year. I planted sunflowers, zinnias, lavender, basil, oregano, chives, Italian parsley, and snap dragons. I love planting from seed because it allows me to start indoor gardening in March which really helps me get over the last of the winter weather. Planting and caring for the seeds starts in March and goes through the spring so it keeps me busy and eliminates my need to buy lots of expensive plants.

some of my seedlings early spring.

So I wait and wait for the announcement of this sale and then I pounce. After so much garden thrifting this is my day to finally let loose and have fun shopping for plants. Now I have to just figure out where I am going to put all those grasses. I am wishing now I had grabbed more of them. Will my front yard get them as a fence of sorts or will they become a wall for the children's garden? I have some thinking to do.